Friday, January 11, 2008

Just Words

Driving back through the snow and sleet this afternoon, and listening to radio bloke I heard Mark Kermode say "I downcast my Pod load". It sounded odd and weird and funny when I heard it, with a faintly sexual flavour to it. Or is that just me? Anyway having tea a few hours later (what you lot in the South of England would no doubt refer to as dinner) the Munch began to put the word dude into all his sentences. I asked him if he knew what it meant. He sort of shrugged and then turned pale and shaky when I suggested that he looked it up in the dictionary. The munch does not do dictionaries, they are a "waste of time and boring", apparently. "There's no need to get the dictionary out dad", said the Weasel helpfully, "it means camels testicles." I managed to retain the mouthful I was chewing, but Mrs BW spluttered and almost choked on the water she had been drinking. "Um I don't think so" I said. But she was adamant and claimed that she had been told that that was what it meant by a teacher at school. I was about to make a disparaging comment about her teachers but realised just in time that Mrs BW had once been a teacher and though she is glad to be an ex teacher she is still fiercely defensive about her profession. Eventually after some argument and a lot of unhelpful comments from the Munch about the nature and size of camels testicles we agreed that we should refer to the dictionary. As far as the connection between the word dude and camels testicles were concerned the dictionary had nothing to say on the matter. But it gave a helpful explanation of the derivation and usage of the word dude. She was silent for a moment. "Okay then, what does bugger mean Dad?" I began to wish we hadn't started this. "look it up in the dictionary" I suggested. So she did. "What does sodomite mean, Dad?" It was going to be a long tea.

6 comments:

Reg Pither said...

Excellent stuff, BW!! I just don't laugh much - but that made me howl. Good luck with breakfast and tea on Saturday and Sunday.

Malc said...

Dude, you are the camel's testicles.

Tea? Dinner? How about supper? The great compromise meal.

fiwa said...

I'm with Reg, that was hilarious.

Ok, because you KNOW I am gullible, I had to go look "dude" up on Wikipedia. The second sentence got me: "The word is not often used by mature adults, unless in sarcasm." Now I think I may have to count the number of times I say "dude" in one day. I knew I was immature, but jeez.... did they have to be so blunt about it?!

Oh my, this is the beginning of some very interesting conversations around the BW tea table.

The Birdwatcher said...

Reg - I usually make dogs howl when I try and sing. Ah the joy of meal times. We inflict these on our young but I hope they will look back on them as happy times. Christ I don't believe I just wrote that. Perhaps I didn't and my mind was temporarily taken over by some other entity. (ok played rugby played crap and we lost 86-0)

Malc - A phrase from the collected works of the Munch as in "Dad you are the Camels Testicles!" Had many arguments about words to describe mealtimes. I have never though eaten a ploughmans dinner. Not at least when he was looking.

Fiwa - Gullible is not a word I would associate with you, but don't believe everything you read in Wikapedia,(even though I linked to it!)
We do have some weird and wonderful conversations round our dining room table. I shall have to make a few notes and blog about them. Thanks foir the e-mail re your blog - my offer stands.

dinahmow said...

Such a happy (and therefore, healthy) table. Beats the bejeezlehoop out of kids glued to telly while shovelling in food they're unaware of.
When very young, my brother told a younger cousin that we get milk from cows so cream must come from bulls!

The Birdwatcher said...

LOL :) Oh thats good - I'll have to remember that.