The Wiz is off on her travels.

Sitting in what I grandly call the office, but which is in fact a spare room that we do not need. Well its a space with my stuff in it anyway. Looking out of the window, I can see that the rain has arrived. So it must be Buxton carnival tomorrow! Feel pretty sad at the moment. I took the Wiz to Heathrow yesterday. She has gone to Ethiopia with Link Ethiopia to do some work with them in Gonder in the North of the country. Not heard from her since but Link E, tell me she arrived safe and sound this morning. I guess she will be asleep. Feel excited and scared for her. It will be a wonderful experience, at least that's what you are supposed to say. Sitting drinking coffee before she boarded she said that she was glad she was going to Ethiopia and not Ibiza with the rest of her friends. Wow she has changed. She is a brave young woman and I am very proud of her. This time last week I was watching her play Alice in Billy Liar at the Buxton Fringe. She was so good, well they all were. They worked really hard on the performance and the efforts showed through. Soon she will be leaving home to go to Uni (fingers crossed). Where has the time gone? Anyway Wiz be safe and take care, have a wonderful time. Miss you, love Dad xxx

Out in the wind and rain

The rain trickles down the back of my neck. I should have had my hood up. But hoods irritate me and make me look even scarier. Quite why that worries me when I am walking the dog in the Goyt, I don’t know. Apart from the occasional runner and dog walker hunched and hunkered down against the rain, there will be very few people out and about today.

I have my new walking boots on and they make a big difference. Lilly strains at the long lead. The rain and the wind don’t seem to bother her. She sniffs and scampers around the undergrowth scaring the grouse and putting them to flight, and then trying to chase after them when they fly across the valley.

I lose myself to my thoughts. I have a lot to think about. Its hard being a dad and its hard being the Weasel and only 17 but wanting so much to have the freedom to go out at weekends, to stay up all night and then chill on someone’s floor or with a boyfriend or whatever. Harder still when your friends, some of them at least, seem to have the freedom to do what they want and go where they want. We had agreed that she could stay out last night, we agreed where she would be staying and we agreed that she would be back by mid day, though this last bit went down like a lead balloon. I tried to explain that as far as I was concerned it was about knowing that she was safe and wanting to see her, to have some family time together. (At least she wasn’t sick on the spot).

I feel sad. I don’t know why. I did not sleep well last night. I lay in bed and thought about her and hoped that she was okay. It’s hard to let go, hard to get the balance right. But it’s more important that we talk and that she comes home and knows that she will be safe and welcome there. I know she needs to discover who she is and to make mistakes and of course to quote “to have fun”.

The wind and the rain intensify and I slip and slide down the hill side. Lilly has found some interesting smell and is hell bend on pulling me with her or over in her effort to get to whatever it is she has scented.

Time to head for home.