Friday, December 21, 2007

Microwave Mystery

“I have put the chops on to defrost in the Microwave for six minutes, is that okay?” This questioned aimed at Mrs Birdwatcher as she stands in the kitchen.

“What do you mean you have put them on to defrost for eight minutes? How much do they weigh?”

I look at her slightly perplexed. I stall for time and lob one back at her. “What do you mean how much do they weight?” and try a bit of light hearted laugh.

She is not put off however and comes back with, “Well how have you ascertained the time they need to defrost if you don't know how much they weight?” and suddenly I am fourteen and twisting uncomfortably on the hard wooden stools of the science block while all around me a sea of hands are raised and frantically waving desperate to impart the answer.

Mrs BW brings me back to the present by pointing her finger at the 600g on the packet. “You need to press the defrost button six times so that it reads 600. You see?”

I see! Light bulbs go on and suddenly another one of the microwaves little mystery has been solved. You see I had never quite managed to work out what the figures meant when you pressed the defrost button, so I used to guess.

“What have you been doing all these years?” She asked as I knew she must. The question hangs unanswered as I sneek back to the microwave to make the necessary adjustments.

7 comments:

Kim Ayres said...

AHA! You hero! All has been revealed! Now my wife need never suspect I don'tknow how to defrost.

Reg Pither said...

Crunchy chops are best! Yours is, however, a good game plan - the fuck-it-up-right-royally-the-first-time-so-you're-never-asked-to-do-it-again approach to domestic chores. Gor for it BW! (Thanks for all the kind words about PF).

No Good Boyo said...

I used the same approach to scrape a Maths 'O' level, so it must be a hill-dwelling man thing - although in Wales we think meat tastes best when cooked through the power of abrasion. Thanks for the kind words about my blog, and for introducing me to yours. Merry Christmas!

iLL Man said...

I don't think I've ever calculated defrost time by the weight of the meat. Like every other red blooded male, I just guess and take it out when it goes soft...........

Happy Christmas BW

The Birdwatcher said...

Kim - Glad to provided a small service.

Reg - Yes it always works, hence I do no decorating or gardening due to simple male incompetence. Have a good holiday, give padfoots paw a squeeze from us at BW terraces.

No Good Boyo - Welcome and a Merry Christmas to you and to Mrs Boyo. Personally I like my meat still walking around but then I still live in a cave.

Illman - I have no intentions of calculating it either. Like you its all trial and error and I have not poisoned myself yet, but I suppose its nice to know what the figures mean if nothing else. Happy Midwinter festival to you.

Aku said...

Ahaa, that's why I've never managed to figure out how they work! Thanks.

The Birdwatcher said...

Aku - Thanks for dropping by. Glad to have been of some use.